Our fantasy football cavalry is out of ammunition. The fallen are trampled in the mud, not a bugle rising screaming through the mist with only the glint of a worn bayonet. Six Teams have bye in Week 7, which wouldn’t warrant a whimper if our numbers weren’t already depleted by injuries. This is the week that leans on our value as fantasy managers. Shall we sink or galvanize in phalanx formation behind our shields? this is a make or break board, whether you like it or not.
This isn’t “Bye-mageddon,” where tornado sirens wailed overhead and no roster was spared a well-deserved rest period so athletes could enjoy some time away from the grind. Week 7 doesn’t have that metallic dystopian tinge. No nuclear fallout or hordes of zombies. What we’re dealing with this week is uncertainty. Muddy pose groups are muddier than ever. MRI results are state secrets in underground bunkers guarded in slow-drying red rubber stamp ink splashed on a manila envelope with tassels.
The second quarter of the season is also a barometer of coaching competence. Everything that can be extracted from the game tape is out there. Good coaches will be taken advantage of and bad coaches will be exposed. The tightrope of shaping a list, be it real or fantasy, without needlessly slipping into oblivion is a struggle shared by both games. Let’s flip through the pages of this week’s fantasy football stories.
Fantasy Football Stories (Week 7)
Wait… One more day
What was supposed to be a leisurely scroll through Thursday morning’s tweets turned into a sad, humorless joke. First-round WR Jahan Dotson was taking snaps as a starter on the field goal unit. Riverboat Ron? More like Reprehensible Ron. He did the same to Antonio Gibson last season instead of making changes win more games.
Dotson is struggling this season and has drawn the ire of his most ardent fans, myself included. Where most are putting him out to pasture (or on special teams), I’ll continue to bet on his immense talent where I have the space to keep him. Hence the Wilson Phillips reference.
Of Main Concern
The rumors of the death of the Chiefs after the championship have been completely exaggerated. They’re 5-1 and they win with… defense? Okay, this is weird. Kansas City scored just 19 points on the same defense that gave up 70 a couple of weeks earlier.
Patrick Mahomes is running for his life and receivers who don’t date a pop culture icon can’t be trusted. Run the ball? Please. Isiah Pacheco looks like a backhoe operator out there, still bumping into his linemen and no driving lanes.
The good news is that the Chargers are coming to town. Los Angeles has a defense rich in name value and no money in performance this season. Will the mighty Chiefs find a groove like they did en route to the Lombardi’s a year ago? This could be the fall breaker that does it for them.
Bottle nose and impressive
Tyreek Hill is the ultimate in fantasy football. The cheetah is uniquely special and as inevitable as the dawn. Once hyperbolic openings are just canned adjectives next to their names. Hill is on pace for over 2,300 receiving yards this season. We’re a third of the way there. The Dolphins offense as a whole is researching to challenge every record in the book.
Those of us who recognized Mike McDaniel’s brand of unparalleled genius long before he was named Miami’s head coach know that more success is on the horizon. He’s put a unique and explosive spin on Shanahan’s system, which doesn’t require star power (but benefits greatly from it).
Hill and Jaylen Waddle form the league’s tightest passing funnel, combining for a quick, lethal offense that puts electric speed into space. If you drop two safeties deep, the run game and dig routes are a death by 1,000 cuts. If you load up the box, Tua Tagovailoa just drops repeated striped rainbows right into the shiny pot of gold. This is the best Turf show of our generation. For fantasy, the dream feels too real.
My team without CMC looks… Oh… Bleak
Take my breath away, Christian McCaffrey. You were the apple of my eye in the first round this summer and I need you. I never thought you were injury prone and fiercely protective of your reputation in football circles.
Give me the strength to fill every roster spot stripped to injured reserve and the dreaded “bye for now” gesture. I say this with mixed emotions because I certainly can’t afford to lose CMC long term, but hopefully our beloved RB1’s pain tolerance can handle his oblique injury enough to keep me active and rack up more points in these difficult times.
The 49ers were torn apart by injuries in dismal Cleveland last week. While I support his demise on the scoreboard, a large part of me wishes for a favorable outcome on my fantasy scoreboard. Who to choose between Jordan Mason and Elijah Mitchell in the nebulous void left by a fallen star? I shudder to imagine a dilemma with more pain on both ends. It’s McCaffrey or bust, especially with the current state of the RB landscape available on waivers.
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